Online Dating

satanboy

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Dating:
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships practiced in Western societies whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in a future intimate relationship.

Interesting.
 

Spizz

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Exactly, will join the hiking club, visit the markets on Saturdays (so less drinking on Friday nights which is a good thing), go out for dinner and drinks over weekends, tap into friends circles etc. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I’ve been a hermit for a decade and it’s time to get out of the house again.

@Spizz, mention to the SO (her friends, not her, lol) I’m in the market… ;)

:D

TBF I honestly wouldn't know where to start and I don't envy you. I think if I was on the market I'd actually pay to use a decent and respectable online resource where you know the other people are in the same situation as you.
 

satanboy

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If it was me, I would just start hanging around with my friends every weekend/join a couple of clubs (tennis, hiking, art...whatever).

Online is too much fakery.
 

Tribs

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Not quite... I also look at it through the lens of a parent i.e. I would take offence to another guy trying to become a step dad to my kids; similarly I would expect a woman to be devious about any man that was keen on her because of her kids (pedophile alarm bells would be screaming loudly).

Plus why would any man want to be involved with another man's kids... it's just going to create unnecessary tension and will more often then not lead to the end of the relationship. A good mother would not let a man other then their father discipline them, similarly I'd expect the kids to be less than willing for another man to try to act like their father.

If you're single, without kids... why would you ever want the complication that someone else's kids bring... that's not to say you couldn't be friends with her, and engage with her when the kids are visiting with dad. Plus it's quite normal for a man to date women much younger than they are... and if you're financially secure, keep yourself in good stead... then you'd be a catch for woman without the baggage.
My brother had a very chaotic dating life. Dated 3 girls at the same time once. Found someone he thought he loved - she cheated on him.

He eventually met a lovely older lady - with three boys. Two different fathers. He has been married to her for 15 years now - has become dad to the boys and they respect him tremendously. He has not had any kids of his own but loves these boys like he would his own. Sometimes you fall for the lady and take the responsibility that comes with her. I would never have expected this of my little brother. I am super impressed though.
 
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R

[)roi(]

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Think you're splitting hairs here, everyone else understands what it means.
Don't think so... can one just assume that a new woman that you just met on a dating site would know the difference?
The terms mean different things in common speak, e.g. have you ever supplemented the phrase "going out" with "a date" for anyone other than a woman you were keen on. Would you e.g. refer to going out with a male friend as "a date"?
 
R

[)roi(]

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My brother had a very chaotic dating life. Dated 3 girls at the same time once. Found someone he thought he loved - she cheated on him.

He eventually met a lovely older lady - with three boys. Two different fathers. He has been married to her for 15 years now - has become dad to the boys and they respect him tremendously. He has not had any kids of his own but loves these boys like he would his own. Sometimes you fall for the lady and take the responsibility that comes with her. I would never have expected this of my little brother. I am super impressed though.
Glad to hear it worked out for your brother... There are exceptions... but its not the rule. More often than not it's a recipe for misery.
It's certainly not a path I would ever have considered and I wouldn't advise anyone to take... why not take the woman without the baggage and the mileage -- it's after-all the advantage that men have; we tend to become more appealing the older we become; given the financial security follows that -- whereas woman more often than not are the opposite.
That's not to say a cougar whose kids have left the nest wouldn't be a perfect friend with benefits.
 

Nicholas

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This. I don't think older women want attachments but they do want to have fun. But most older men seem to be looking for someone to look after them.
Or for a friend. Some men [me, for example] may want to keep it strictly platonic.
 

Nicholas

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This. I don't think older women want attachments but they do want to have fun. But most older men seem to be looking for someone to look after them.
It sounds as if some older men are looking for somebody to replace their deceased mothers.
 

OCP

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If it was me, I would just start hanging around with my friends every weekend/join a couple of clubs (tennis, hiking, art...whatever).

Online is too much fakery.
Not as easy when you have young kids that you spend 90% of your time with ;-)

I'm in a very different frame of mind when in "parent mode"
 
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Nicholas

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If it was me, I would just start hanging around with my friends every weekend/join a couple of clubs (tennis, hiking, art...whatever).

Online is too much fakery.
Granted

Even so, for those who do not have a social circle in their own geographical area, or are social awkward or introverted, finding a partner online may be their most viable option. It doesn't have to be on a dating site, either. People may meet kindred spirits on online forums, social media, in chatrooms, or through online gaming.
 
R

[)roi(]

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Not as easy when you have young kids that you spend 90% of your time with ;-)
That's why dating woman with kids is never easy... not sure why any man would choose this, when single woman without kids exist.
 
R

[)roi(]

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Granted

Even so, for those who do not have a social circle in their own geographical area, or are social awkward or introverted, finding a partner online may be their most viable option. It doesn't have to be on a dating site, either. People may meet kindred spirits on online forums, social media, in chatrooms, or through online gaming.
Based on some of the descriptions in this thread; I think some should consider sites attuned to "friends with benefits" instead of the dating ones.
 

OCP

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That's why dating woman with kids is never easy... not sure why any man would choose this, when single woman without kids exist.
Because single woman without kids expect your full attention and time where as woman with children understand the complexities of kids and the demands that come with it.

I have been down this road before - dated a lady younger than me who never had kids. She always saw my girls as competition for my time and affection.

When dating someone / in a relationship you would inevitable spend time doing activities and time that includes the kids. Having a partner that is also a parent or even better, a partner that has kids similar ages that get on and enjoy interacting with your kids makes life so much easier.

My case is a little more extreme as my kids are with me 24/7/365 - all my partners had exes that share parenting responsibilities so they get a "break" for a few days or even a week at a time. so yes, it is a challenge but not insurmountable with the right person ;-)
 
R

[)roi(]

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I would. I have been on play dates....work dates.
Interchangeably for either sex? -- if so, that's kind of weird.
My male friends would think I've gone loopy if I referred to our time together as a date, and my wife would slap me if I ever referred to meeting my female friends as going on a date.
 
R

[)roi(]

Guest
Because single woman without kids expect your full attention and time where as woman with children understand the complexities of kids and the demands that come with it.

I have been down this road before - dated a lady younger than me who never had kids. She always saw my girls as competition for my time and affection.

When dating someone / in a relationship you would inevitable spend time doing activities and time that includes the kids. Having a partner that is also a parent or even better, a partner that has kids similar ages that get on and enjoy interacting with your kids makes life so much easier.

My case is a little more extreme as my kids are with me 24/7/365 - all my partners had exes that share parenting responsibilities so they get a "break" for a few days or even a week at a time. so yes, it is a challenge but not insurmountable with the right person ;-)
... but then you have baggage, and I'd equally ask the young ladies (without baggage) why they'd even consider dating a man with baggage instead of all the men who don't.

Basically your case is just as tough as it is for all the divorced woman out there with kids. All I can say is good luck, can't be easy.
 
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