And I started writing a story. I had a dream when I was 16. Had that dream several times over a few years. The dream was the same every time so I jotted down notes when I was 18. I started writing it a few years ago = but life intervenes. (yes it has been a very long time - and still isn't finished)
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Cara looked towards what should be the other side and thought to herself “Does this really end?” It seemed unlikely. The soft white sand stretched before her. A tiny tongue licked her foot and brought her attention back to the present.
She looked down and smiled at the ball of fur. Yukshi could barely contain his excitement. The little chap bounced as though his paws were fitted with springs. His white fur was almost as white as the sand that stretched before them. Almost, not quite. Cara thought that she had never seen anything that white. His little dark eyes looked pleadingly at her. He wanted to feel the soft sand on his little paws and couldn’t understand her hesitation.
“Ok, let’s go” said Cara rather shakily. She placed her foot on the sand. It felt solid enough but she had been warned not to trust her eyes. Looking over her shoulder, she could still see the hill and the little stream where they had spent the night. She longed for the certainty she had felt while listening to the water bubble over the pebbles. She knew that each step would take her further away from the safety of home and a reality she knew and trusted.
The yelp from Yukshi brought her crashing back to the present. She turned and stared, expecting the worst. It took a few seconds for her to locate his white fur on the even whiter sand. It had not been a yelp of pain or fear, but one of joy. The little dog was rolling and tumbling in the silky soft sand.
Cara’s long blonde hair moved gently in the breeze and she smiled. It had been a long time since she had seen him this happy. She almost felt as though he knew where they were going – well not really where, as she didn’t even know that herself. But she felt he knew why. He missed Martin too, and she felt he knew that they would see him again soon.
She took a few more steps and could feel her fears and concerns and uncertainty fade with each step. She felt light. The immense sorrow she had felt seemed to slip away.
A strange sound escaped her lips. It sounded foreign and startled her. It happened again! It was laughter! Had it really been so long? Had she forgotten the sound? She laughed again and felt a smile on her face. The face that had resigned itself to the overwhelming sorrow she had made her own. She was no longer walking either, but skipping, now running.
The soft sand seemed to flow under her feet. She called to Yukshi and he bounded towards her. He looked as though he would burst with joy. Together they rolled around in the sand, laughing and yelping. This was the freest she had ever felt. “Oh Yukshi, why are we so happy? I love this place! I never want to leave.” As those last words left her mouth, she sat up straight. “What?!” Why one earth would she say that? “What are we doing?” she asked. She sat dumbfounded in the sand. She felt no sadness. Her ever-companion was gone. She felt light inside, happy. She liked this feeling. “Is it possible? Can this be real?”
Could those months of pain, of sadness, really be gone? She looked at her little dog languishing blissfully in the sand. She had not seen him this happy in ages. Surely this was better. Looking around, all she could see was sand. Which direction had they come from? Why was the sun so low in the sky? Surely it had only been a few minutes since they stepped onto the sand. Slowly the feelings of joy began to morph into something else. Something sinister. Icy tendrils wrapped themselves around her insides. She felt them slither through her. With each breath they grew tighter. Their hold on her was unbearable. Yukshi seemed blissfully unaware of this change in her and was searching for the errant flea that bothered him periodically.
Why had her happiness left her? What was wrong with this place? Why did she want to stay here so badly – no actually – need to stay here? A tiny voice, deep within her, whispered. She tried to make out the words. They were muffled, as though something was choking them. They came again, this time more determined to be heard. She listened but they made no sense.
“…….forgetful…..” is all she understood. She listened harder, but there was silence. She heard only the waves breaking along the beach. “Waves!” she shouted. Yukshi jumped to attention. “We are on the first beach!” She sprang to her feet. Now what had the old man told her?
“The first beach – watch out – the sands of forgetfulness” or something like that. She never really listened well. “Come pup, we must go.” Yukshi looked at her with what she imagined was confusion. “I know, it is wonderful to have forgotten the sadness, but we need that sadness. We must finish what we started.”
The little dog looked wistfully at the sand and seemed to sigh. Surely not, he was just a dog. How could he possibly understand? He stood beside her and his eyes seems to say “Well, which way?”
Cara looked around – very good question she thought. Noticing her footprints in the sand, she turned towards the sunset and determinedly said “That way.” They started off towards the golden orb, which had already begun to turn orange. They walked in silence, both enjoying the memory of how it felt to be without the sadness. Cara really hoped that they weren’t making a big mistake.
The soft white sand came to an abrupt end. It just stopped, without warning. Cara stopped too, as did Yukshi. They were reluctant to step onto the next beach. There were 5, this was no. 2. What could she remember about this one? She looked down at the perfectly spherical pebbles, or were they stones? She wondered what the difference was. What made a pebble a pebble instead of a stone? “Stop delaying” she chided herself. “Pebbles are probably found near water” her brain answered. Why did it always need to do that – answer her questions? She sighed and took the first step. The pebbles shifted beneath her feet and made a crunching sound. Yukshi looked at her as if to say “I am not walking on that!” “Come on boy.” She tried to lighten her voice but the sadness had already returned. He seemed to shake his head and sat down. “Darnit dog! You are the most stubborn of all the dogs.” She scooped him up.
Walking on the stones was not as easy as on the sand, nor as much fun. Each foot shifted the stones and she was scared she would slip. It was like walking on oversized marbles.
Yukshi wasn’t making things any easier either. The flea had returned and was somewhere on his paw. He kept trying to nip it. His movement reminded her of a bobble-head – one that would not stop bobbing.
“Stop it now!” she said in exasperation. “Stop moving or I will put you down. He licked her nose. He knew how much she hated that but enjoyed her reaction immensely. She squealed. He tried it again but she managed to dodge just in time. She grabbed his snoot with her free hand and trapped his little pink tongue inside his mouth. He squirmed. Angrily she put him down. She glared at him.
“If you are going to be so silly, you can walk on your own feet. I am tired of carrying you anyway.” Yukshi glared back at her. This was her “other” side. He did not like this side. Her voice became shrill and hurt his ears. Her usually pretty face was contorted into a much sterner, and much uglier, one. Why had he agreed to come with her? He wasn’t going to take a step further until she apologised. His inner voice chided him that he was actually yet to take a step, but he dismissed it quickly.
He sat with his little bum planted firmly on the pebbles. Cara pushed him with her foot and he nearly lost his balance. He snapped at her, and instantly regretted it. What was happening to them? He loved her more than life itself. Were it not for her, he would not have survived puppyhood. Why was this beach so much harder than the last?
Cara collapsed in tears. It was the first time ever that Yukshi had snapped at her. How could she be so cruel and unkind? She wrapped her arms around him and her tears fell onto his soft fur. He smelled warm, and like home. He nuzzled under her chin, deeply regretting his loss of temper.
This must be the beach of turmoil and strife. She disliked it. Picking up Yukshi, she walked as quickly as she could to the red orb on the horizon. Noticing that, although it had changed colour, it was no lower in the sky than before. They walked the rest of the way in silence, both mulling thoughtfully over the events that had transpired.
