Addiction

Tribs

Tribs

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rambo919 said:
Sometimes, hope is all that is left behind.

One of my big mistakes was that I thought I could take back control, then that delusion was shattered. Pride is the most deceptive of sins. I cannot claim to have all the answers but I know I cannot overcome myself, I need the right kind of help but thus far have had to be patient in waiting for it, and learning patience is not easy.

At this point I am just trying to do the Job thing and humble myself.
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My addictions have not caused me to crash and burn = yet. Though I do know they have the potential. But for now - I am happy with them. They are part of who I am - and if crash and burn time comes - I am willing to take the consequences. This is me. This is who I am inside - I am tired of being what others expect of me.
 
R

rambo919

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Tribs said:
My addictions have not caused me to crash and burn = yet. Though I do know they have the potential. But for now - I am happy with them. They are part of who I am - and if crash and burn time comes - I am willing to take the consequences. This is me. This is who I am inside - I am tired of being what others expect of me.
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I stopped bothering pleasing anyone years ago..... I now scare and confuse people for some reason.
 
BloodrayneZA

BloodrayneZA

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LD50 said:
I find that once you ignore people it automatically erases any expectations, only your own exists.
Having said that, do not lose your love and empathy for people animals
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Oh animals are a different story and babies too
 
BloodrayneZA

BloodrayneZA

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LD50 said:
Animals don't disappoint. Why is that?
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They are more accepting regardless of what or who you are. I testify to this because my grandparents had a farm when I was barely out of nappies. I know this because I have photos that they shared with me when I was older. Farming is in my blood - when I was 10, my parents bought a farm and I had to move to a new school. I had weekends and school holidays to spend with all the animals I could have - I grew up with horses, my first riding lesson at 12. I wouldn't stop bugging my mom to send me for riding lessons and 5 years later, I was doing horse shows. I had a few good horses at the riding school and a few others at private yards for free riding. These horses may be huge but they are the most magnificent creatures that the Gods put on earth. Before I stopped riding due to an accident, I had a few horses following me around - Royal Flame was one of the first when I worked at a private yard. The best part of that year was when we brought in an abused Hannoverian x TB horse, he was practically scared out of his skin of people. 2 weeks of work on him by myself and he was practically following me everywhere, eating out of my hand and when I called him, he would come galloping to me. To gain the trust of a horse like that was an amazing experience. I broke my first horse at 13.

I've had a number of dogs and cats growing up - the dogs being the most loyal and I remember being around 16, maybe younger than that when I took my two most trusted dogs out with me on the farm to walk around and the neighbour's dogs came over, barking and threatening to bite me. My one black Alsatian x St Bernard rocketed after the dogs and they ran their asses out of there, too scared of mine.

I can tell you more but it will require a 10 page long story of all the animals I've raised up and worked with. Just thinking about it, made me realise how fortunate I was to be growing up with all of that because now the way I see it, my mother sacrificed a lot for me.
 
LD50

LD50

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Mar 15, 2020
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4,565
BloodrayneZA said:
They are more accepting regardless of what or who you are. I testify to this because my grandparents had a farm when I was barely out of nappies. I know this because I have photos that they shared with me when I was older. Farming is in my blood - when I was 10, my parents bought a farm and I had to move to a new school. I had weekends and school holidays to spend with all the animals I could have - I grew up with horses, my first riding lesson at 12. I wouldn't stop bugging my mom to send me for riding lessons and 5 years later, I was doing horse shows. I had a few good horses at the riding school and a few others at private yards for free riding. These horses may be huge but they are the most magnificent creatures that the Gods put on earth. Before I stopped riding due to an accident, I had a few horses following me around - Royal Flame was one of the first when I worked at a private yard. The best part of that year was when we brought in an abused Hannoverian x TB horse, he was practically scared out of his skin of people. 2 weeks of work on him by myself and he was practically following me everywhere, eating out of my hand and when I called him, he would come galloping to me. To gain the trust of a horse like that was an amazing experience. I broke my first horse at 13.

I've had a number of dogs and cats growing up - the dogs being the most loyal and I remember being around 16, maybe younger than that when I took my two most trusted dogs out with me on the farm to walk around and the neighbour's dogs came over, barking and threatening to bite me. My one black Alsatian x St Bernard rocketed after the dogs and they ran their asses out of there, too scared of mine.

I can tell you more but it will require a 10 page long story of all the animals I've raised up and worked with. Just thinking about it, made me realise how fortunate I was to be growing up with all of that because now the way I see it, my mother sacrificed a lot for me.
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Thank you for taking the time in typing your experiences out. I am slightly jealous of the life you had with the horses at such a young age.
 
Motobour

Motobour

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I don't think any of my addictions which are not that big half influence or affect people that I love and care about. For sure, I don't give a damn about people that I don't care. One of the biggest mistakes I did in my life was definitely marijuana as it became a gateway drug to harder stuff that I don't even want to talk about at this point. I was just fortunate enough to have my uncle admitted into a clinic like https://promis.co.uk/ during my time in the UK as a student, and I was able to overcome it without damaging my health too much.
 
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