The Funny Pictures and Jokes Thread
- Thread starter satanboy
- Start date
Dave
Well-Known Member
Textile Guy
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- May 1, 2020
- Messages
- 1,187
sand_man
Well-Known Member
My wife said she's going to leave me in the morning because I'm obsessed with Wham!
I said, "Wake me up before you go go!"
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
I said, "Wake me up before you go go!"
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
sand_man
Well-Known Member
I keep having this recurring dream where I think I'm a horse...
Last five nights on the trot!
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
Last five nights on the trot!
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
sand_man
Well-Known Member
As a small boy, I shared a bed with my 5 big brothers, and an old raincoat instead of a blanket...
It was tough growing up in the hood!
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
It was tough growing up in the hood!
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
sand_man
Well-Known Member
Has anyone lost £2,000 wrapped in elastic bands?
I've found your elastic bands!
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
I've found your elastic bands!
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
sand_man
Well-Known Member
A wife comes home early to find her husband fucking a midget. "You promised me you wouldn't cheat on me again!" she screamed.
"Calm down will you," he replied. "Can't you see I'm trying to cut down!"
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
"Calm down will you," he replied. "Can't you see I'm trying to cut down!"
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
sand_man
Well-Known Member
I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning.
I said, "It's a bit late for you Sarah, isn't it?"
"I couldn't sleep," she replied.
"That's not what I meant, you fat cow!"
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
I said, "It's a bit late for you Sarah, isn't it?"
"I couldn't sleep," she replied.
"That's not what I meant, you fat cow!"
Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk
Dave
Well-Known Member
How did you end up with a phone from the home of Corona?
Textile Guy
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- May 1, 2020
- Messages
- 1,187
So, I been looking to buy a house here in the US.
Today I was out toward Brevard county, and I found this area close to where I work called Apopka Springs.
Apparently its a part of the Indian reservations in the area.
Lovely part of the world.
I met the guy who manages the housing area, John Little Eagle.
He showed me a quaint little 2 bedroom place, with stoep and double garage.
Just what I need ....
I asked if it came with hot running water.
Wasnt amused - said I could fuck off and find my own hot wife.
Today I was out toward Brevard county, and I found this area close to where I work called Apopka Springs.
Apparently its a part of the Indian reservations in the area.
Lovely part of the world.
I met the guy who manages the housing area, John Little Eagle.
He showed me a quaint little 2 bedroom place, with stoep and double garage.
Just what I need ....
I asked if it came with hot running water.
Wasnt amused - said I could fuck off and find my own hot wife.
Dave
Well-Known Member
sand_man
Well-Known Member
Some 11 year old chink in a Wuhan sweat house made it for me...
Dave
Well-Known Member
I was referring to the 1910 when it should be 1913
Less bat blood used in the manufacturing
sand_man
Well-Known Member
Got caught stealing a leg of lamb from the supermarket. The security guard said, "What are you doing with that?" I replied, "Potaoes, peas and gravy!"
sand_man
Well-Known Member
My wife asked me if I could possibly stop masturbating in the bathroom. "Why?" I asked. "Because my sister's having a shower!" she replied.
Dave
Well-Known Member
May the 4th be with you!
sand_man
Well-Known Member
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman says, "What an interesting pet. What's his name?" "Tiny," the man replies. "What an odd name. Why do you call him Tiny?" "Because, he's my newt!"
sand_man
Well-Known Member
I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist. I rushed outside yelling, "Let me through, let me through." A man at the front said, "Thank God for that. Are you a doctor?" I said, "No, that's my fucking pizza!"
