A brief rant, if you will be kind enough to tolerate it. The race previous known as the Cape Argus (fuck knows what it is called now) is the biggest timed bicycle race in the world. Scores of lycra-clad cyclists embark on what is surely the stupidest thing to do on a very hot Sunday, but, sure they have a right to do so. And it is just one day of the year with city-crippling traffic management. I made the foolish decision to visit Moulie Point, and to do some impressive detours, but we (myself and children got there.
The rant is this. You fucking lycra-clad lunatics need to park your fucking car near the end. You are going to be tired. Don't ride home. Don't ride home on the fucking freeway, anymore that you would drive a horse cart on the freeway. It is illegal. Don't slowly ride three (!) abreast in a two lane road.
Don't, as I just saw, ride home in the shoulder of the fast lane IN THE WRONG FUCKING DIRECTION, on the fucking highway! I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you? At least you have an idea of the oncoming traffic, I guess, so you will have a few seconds to know how you are going to die before you end up in a mess of lycra and body parts. So there is that.
The others just ride oblivious to traffic behind them. Yes these are probably weekend warriors who train just for the race and sit on their fat arses for most of the year so they are not used to riding in traffic.But would it be a really hard thing to add a fucking rear-view mirror? Would it take that much time out of your precious fucking race time due to negligible drag? How about, even, checking your goddam blind spot (hint - everything behind you) before making a turn? Also, while I am on it, how about following the fucking rules of the road? A red light is where you stop, not either run straight through, or edge further and further into the cross because you can't fucking asked to uncleat your pretentious fucking shoes. If you want to practice your balance skills, get a fucking unicyle.
I drive a 2 tonne bakkie. That Toyota is going to crush you and kill you. I will try to anticipate what ever illegal action you may do, but fucking christ, lycra limpdick, have some basic spatial awareness. Cars are bigger than you.
In short, thank fuck this event is over for the year. And fuck those lycra losers.
