Why do people not want to make friends anymore?

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Rudolph Hart

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I got two kittens yesterday (the old girl popped her clogs a few weeks ago and there was space for a couple), and realised that if they live to twenty I’ll be nearly 80 when they die. Or, more likely I’ll die before they do. So I’ve now quite likely got my last cats.
 
RedViking

RedViking

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Tribs said:
True but that isn't a reason not to get dogs. They will have an awesome time until you pass away. Worth it!
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I know. And then they die of hunger. /sad

I love my dogs. Specially my fluffy one. She gets me.
 
SauRoN

SauRoN

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biometrics said:
To add I had plenty of friends in my youth, 20s and early 30s. Went downhill somewhere late 30s. People got married, had kids, moved away etc.

Is it a must to have children?
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Probably just a lack of time to really invest much into it.

Children would certainly alter the time available equation for those who have them, and then it’s a case of people with kids generally won’t want to expose themselves to those without assuming it would be a problem and it often is.

Interestingly having kids doesn’t make everyone suddenly have something in common, while we’ve had amicable relationships with other parents at kids parties through school connections we haven’t had a single direct social gathering with the same people outside of that.

Quite honestly I just don’t have the energy for creating new bonds with people. It’s already a struggle just maintaining existing ones and they get less and less strong by the day.

Covid of course it a whole other story on top of all this adding more complications.

Don’t even get me started at the immediate divide caused by the whiff of antivax from people you always considered intelligent.

My 40th birthday is coming up next year and I always considered it as one epic party to invite everyone to, almost like a wedding. The closer I get to it the more and more I’m inclined to keep it quiet and a family affair with a select handful of friends. Or even leaving everyone out of it and spending the money on an overseas holiday.


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Blantyre

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I always welcome quality conversation and friendships but I've had many painful experiences in the past with regards to people taking advantage of me and only coming to me when they want something so I don't keep my circles big or try to. I've also gathered that a lot of people just bring drama into your life.
 
LD50

LD50

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People, I have found, are high maintenance. Also in 2022 the concept of "friend" evolved or should I say has been reduced to a "NBE" ("Non Beneficial Entity") - where friendship doesn't benefit you at all, in fact all you are doing is donating to this high maintenance friendship
 
LD50

LD50

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It does sound selfish I know - but I wish sometimes that I was the only human in this world
 
Tribs

Tribs

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I have very few actual friends. Not that I don't want them - but I am a bit challenging when it comes to messaging. Some people I need contact with all the time - with other people it can be too much. I have about 5 people I communicate with frequently. But they know they have to start the chat. I was brought up to believe that I am a burden and inconvenience. So I do not bother people unless I have something to say. Poor @Nicholas sometimes waits days for a reply - it is not intentional - I am easily distracted.

What I am saying is - I am probably not a good friend to try and communicate with :D @Johnatan56 can attest to that too
 
Johnatan56

Johnatan56

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Tribs said:
I have very few actual friends. Not that I don't want them - but I am a bit challenging when it comes to messaging. Some people I need contact with all the time - with other people it can be too much. I have about 5 people I communicate with frequently. But they know they have to start the chat. I was brought up to believe that I am a burden and inconvenience. So I do not bother people unless I have something to say. Poor @Nicholas sometimes waits days for a reply - it is not intentional - I am easily distracted.

What I am saying is - I am probably not a good friend to try and communicate with :D @Johnatan56 can attest to that too
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You expect me to expect replies? My motto is, a reply can be today, tomorrow or three months, but just note I won't say anything until you reply or an event happens.

Friend and I had the same thing, basically radio silence for a year, then just out of the blue we're like, "hey, what's up?" and just picked up as though nothing happened for half a year, and now silence for about two months, reminds me that I should reply to his message.
 
satanboy

satanboy

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Tribs said:
I have very few actual friends. Not that I don't want them - but I am a bit challenging when it comes to messaging. Some people I need contact with all the time - with other people it can be too much. I have about 5 people I communicate with frequently. But they know they have to start the chat. I was brought up to believe that I am a burden and inconvenience. So I do not bother people unless I have something to say. Poor @Nicholas sometimes waits days for a reply - it is not intentional - I am easily distracted.

What I am saying is - I am probably not a good friend to try and communicate with :D @Johnatan56 can attest to that too
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This is why my friendship with some people is disappearing. They just don't know how to communicate. The more I try the less they respond. So fuck them.
 
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