Why do people not want to make friends anymore?

[biometrics]

Local hiking club sounds like a good place to start. When are you planning to join?

This club do some serious hikes so need to get hiking fit. Going on a starter hike today to get the body going.

 

[Jings]

This club do some serious hikes so need to get hiking fit. Going on a starter hike today to get the body going.

Good choice for today because tomorrow there is rain. I hope you've got comfortable shoes.

 

[Spizz]

To add I had plenty of friends in my youth, 20s and early 30s. Went downhill somewhere late 30s. People got married, had kids, moved away etc.

Is it a must to have children?

That's the thing, being married I think you tend to have friends as a couple. Certainly if you've moved away from where you grew up and went to school where you generally make friends for life. And having moved away from my childhood home where I lived for the first 23 years of my life, all of the people I'd call friends are pretty much still back there.

I guess I know lots of people now having lived in this town for 12-13 years, but I do live pretty much a solitary life inside my family circle and I reckon the one guy I'd call a friend is half of a couple that my wife and I hang out with once every two or three weeks.

And that's probably the big thing at the age we are at when we are away from where we grew up and went to school, people are mostly paired off and getting on with responsibilities of paying the bills and bringing up the kids. So if there is any socialising being done at all it's mostly with people we know through one partner or other rather than with actual "friends".

Have you tried dating sites btw? Women can be friends too and more rewarding in many ways

 

[Rudolph Hart]

Have you tried dating sites btw? Women can be friends too and more rewarding in many ways

I’ve quite a few women friends I’ve met through dating sites. Friendships tend to last a lot longer than romantic relationships, and if there’s not a spark but you get on well together it makes some sense to just stick with being friends.

 

[Rudolph Hart]

With respect to friendship, I have school friends and army friends and I typically don’t see them for a few years at a time and they’re all up in Gauteng. My local friends are from clubs and hobbies that I participate in here. They’ve replaced the friends from when the kids were at school, and those were mostly the kids’ friends’ parents.

 

[biometrics]

Have you tried dating sites btw? Women can be friends too and more rewarding in many ways

It's a meat market, been there, not again. Will check out the hiking club once a bit fitter. Did an hour in Fernkloof today.

 

[biometrics]

Thinking back it was still fine when I turned 40 (had a surprise birthday party with friends back then). But since then people left the country, moved away from Cape Town, got divorced, had even more children. My focus was on my business so I didn't nurture the friendships I had, so partly my fault.

Anyway a hike always lifts my mood tremendously, so I'm feeling better now.

 

[Nicholas]

Perhaps there is also a bit of classism happening. I am guilty of that, both my previous garden service guy and my covid bootlegger suggested we have a braai and I was taken aback and didn't respond.

I'd say I get along with the cleaners at work as well as the cleaner at Beatty House [I have more time for them than I do for the people I live with. They have always been concerned when I am sick, have fallen and hurt myself, or the times I was mugged. I have loads of respect for them. Some of them live in pretty unpleasant conditions.

 

[Nicholas]

I am one of those people now....the one not returning friendship requests.

Just not in the mood for people.

/Awaits satanboy's imminent departure.

 

[Nicholas]

Unfortunately my tech/coding hobby-turned-into-a-career is not conducive to friendships, it's quite toxic and competitive (think Facebook). My plan is to join the local hiking club and see where that goes.

I hope that works out for you.

 

[jasong]

Grotto forumites not good enough for you all of a sudden? Talk about elitist

 

[satanboy]

/Awaits satanboy's imminent departure.

Where am I going?

 

[Nicholas]

Grotto forumites not good enough for you all of a sudden? Talk about elitist

Not classy enough, apparently.

 

[Nicholas]

Could it be...that we are mistaken in thinking that we are people? Is this all an illusion projected by our brains...or are we computer code?
I think I'm going to have to take a nap.
/Error...shutting down

 

[Nicholas]

With respect to friendship, I have school friends and army friends and I typically don’t see them for a few years at a time and they’re all up in Gauteng. My local friends are from clubs and hobbies that I participate in here. They’ve replaced the friends from when the kids were at school, and those were mostly the kids’ friends’ parents.

I felt more comfortable talking to my teachers than mixing with the other boys.

 

[Nicholas]

Have you tried dating sites btw? Women can be friends too and more rewarding in many ways

Some women can be wonderful , as can some men. Neither has a monopoly on kindness, empathy, etc.

 

[satanboy]

View attachment 30669

Could it be...that we are mistaken in thinking that we are people? Is this all an illusion projected by our brains...or are we computer code?
I think I'm going to have to take a nap.
/Error...shutting down

0's and 1's

 

[maumau]

Happy birthday for yesterday @bio.

 

[biometrics]

It has crossed my mind that the demise of my IRL friends coincided with my discovery that MyBB had a social side, specifically the Threadkiller threads. Curious.

 

[RedViking]

I've reached out to people, so have my housemate. There are interests, age, activities etc. in common. Yet it is not returned.

Is it an age thing? Though in the ten years I lived in Melkbos I didn't make any friends either and I was in my 30s.

Are we destined to die lonely?

Sulking a bit as today was my birthday. I went to lunch on my own.

Get a dog. Happy birthday.