Why do people not want to make friends anymore?

[biometrics]

I've reached out to people, so have my housemate. There are interests, age, activities etc. in common. Yet it is not returned.

Is it an age thing? Though in the ten years I lived in Melkbos I didn't make any friends either and I was in my 30s.

Are we destined to die lonely?

Sulking a bit as today was my birthday. I went to lunch on my own.

 

[biometrics]

To add I had plenty of friends in my youth, 20s and early 30s. Went downhill somewhere late 30s. People got married, had kids, moved away etc.

Is it a must to have children?

 

[Nicholas]

To add I had plenty of friends in my youth, 20s and early 30s. Went downhill somewhere late 30s. People got married, had kids, moved away etc.

Is it a must to have children?

I take it that you are looking for friends who live in the same place as you do?

I think that you have been brave of you to reach out to people. I typically don't, but leave making first contact up to other people.

I would think that producing offspring is not obligatory unless, for example your government is punishing anyone who does not find a consenting partner with whom to procreate [adopting is not a loophole in this hypothetical scenario].

Is befriending your flatmate a possibility, or do you hate each other's guts and only share a flat out of necessity or because of some eldritch curse imposed up you by The Elder Gods?

 

[Nicholas]

I've reached out to people, so have my housemate. There are interests, age, activities etc. in common. Yet it is not returned.

Is it an age thing? Though in the ten years I lived in Melkbos I didn't make any friends either and I was in my 30s.

Are we destined to die lonely?

Sulking a bit as today was my birthday. I went to lunch on my own.

Happy birthday, by the way.

 

[biometrics]

I take it that you are looking for friends who live in the same place as you do?

I think that you have been brave of you to reach out to people. I typically don't, but leave making first contact up to other people.

I would think that producing offspring is not obligatory unless, for example your government is punishing anyone who does not find a consenting partner with whom to procreate [adopting is not a loophole in this hypothetical scenario].

Is befriending your flatmate a possibility, or do you hate each other's guts and only share a flat out of necessity or because of some eldritch curse imposed up you by The Elder Gods?

Here and surrounds I suppose.

My housemate is my friend, today she decided not to come along for my birthday lunch.

 

[Jings]

Happy Birthday biometrics. May you live long and prosper.

 

[biometrics]

Happy Birthday biometrics. May you live long and prosper.

The thought that shorter may be better did cross my mind this afternoon.

 

[Nicholas]

Here and surrounds I suppose.

My housemate is my friend, today she decided not to come along for my birthday lunch.

That's a start. Does she have any other friends that she could introduce you to?

Why is It So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult? - Talkspace

As kids, we had plenty of opportunities to make new friends: in school, on sports teams, in clubs. But what happens as an adult?

www.talkspace.com

Loneliness isn't inevitable – a guide to making new friends as an adult

Striking up friendships as an adult can be tricky – and studies show millions of us are lonely. Here, four people who forged new connections explain how they did it. Plus: psychologist Linda Blair gives her tips

www.theguardian.com

I don't have any friends in East London any more. I chat with the one who emigrated using Telegram. That is also how I keep in touch with someone on this forum.

I do also have most of my direct family here.

 

[Nicholas]

The thought that shorter may be better did cross my mind this afternoon.

I also have that thought sometimes - usually when I worry about what I am going to do for money if I make it to retirement age,

 

[Düber]

Happy birthday @biometrics .

I find the same.
My best and to a point only friend died two years ago. Since then I have tried reaching out to others, going to visit them, phoning them just for a chat etc. But like you have experienced too it's a one way street.
I think most people are so caught up in their own lives and activities and trying to make a living that we have lost that sense of "fun" and togetherness just because there isn't much time leftover.

I have however also been a loner most of my life so even though I am alone I'm not lonely if that makes sense.

 

[biometrics]

Happy birthday @biometrics .

I find the same.
My best and to a point only friend died two years ago. Since then I have tried reaching out to others, going to visit them, phoning them just for a chat etc. But like you have experienced too it's a one way street.
I think most people are so caught up in their own lives and activities and trying to make a living that we have lost that sense of "fun" and togetherness just because there isn't much time leftover.

I have however also been a loner most of my life so even though I am alone I'm not lonely if that makes sense.

Perhaps there is also a bit of classism happening. I am guilty of that, both my previous garden service guy and my covid bootlegger suggested we have a braai and I was taken aback and didn't respond.

 

[Düber]

Perhaps there is also a bit of classist happening. I am guilty of that, both my previous garden service guy and my covid bootlegger suggested we have a braai and I was taken aback and didn't respond.

Only you can answer that, but I will say that some of the most interesting people I have met have been in the strangest of places and circumstances.

I think my biggest "fault" is that I made friends with people that were substantially older than me so sadly over the past few years I have gone to more funerals than weddings.
For me the old car clubs are good places to meet new people that are somewhat like minded, an old cliche but perhaps take up a hobby with a club. When there are regular meetings it "forces" you, and others, to go out and be sociable.

 

[biometrics]

Only you can answer that, but I will say that some of the most interesting people I have met have been in the strangest of places and circumstances.

I think my biggest "fault" is that I made friends with people that were substantially older than me so sadly over the past few years I have gone to more funerals than weddings.
For me the old car clubs are good places to meet new people that are somewhat like minded, an old cliche but perhaps take up a hobby with a club. When there are regular meetings it "forces" you, and others, to go out and be sociable.

Unfortunately my tech/coding hobby-turned-into-a-career is not conducive to friendships, it's quite toxic and competitive (think Facebook). My plan is to join the local hiking club and see where that goes.

 

[Jings]

Unfortunately my tech/coding hobby-turned-into-a-career is not conducive to friendships, it's quite toxic and competitive (think Facebook). My plan is to join the local hiking club and see where that goes.

Local hiking club sounds like a good place to start. When are you planning to join?

 

[satanboy]

Happy birthday @biometrics

 

[satanboy]

I am one of those people now....the one not returning friendship requests.

Just not in the mood for people.

 

[EADC]

The only reason I have friends is I made them when I was in Junior School and never made new ones.

Even mate I hang out with on Dubai is someone I knew from my home town

 

[scudsucker]

To add I had plenty of friends in my youth, 20s and early 30s. Went downhill somewhere late 30s. People got married, had kids, moved away etc.

Is it a must to have children?

Having children immediately limits your circle of friends to other people who have children.

 

[Tribs]

Happy birthday for yesterday @biometrics
Sorry you are feeling depressed. Joining a group is a good place to start. I made a lot of friends playing Ingress and CSGO. Most of my friends are online. Met many on forums like this one. I do meet a few in person but we are not the kind that talk all the time. I have 4 really close friends - then a few good ones. And lots of people I am friendly with, but don't go out of my way to communicate with. I have 5 on this forum I do chat to often. But I must admit that it is generally they who do most of the contacting. I tend to get stuck in my head and forget there is a world out there. They help me keep in contact with it, for which I am very grateful.

 

[Smuggy]

I don't have friend.... Just people I know..