Has your life and career gone the way you thought it would?

Blantyre

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Joined
Dec 26, 2020
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390
Surprises happen in life. Some things you thought would never happen or that you were capable of happen while at other times, you don't hit expectations.

Over the past few years, I've chosen not to make any targets or plans but rather just go from day to day. Making plans is likely to lead to frustration especially if things don't go according to plan.

Overall, I'd say it's been a bit of both for me. I'm financially okay which I was worried about a few years ago. I've never needed to ask parents or family for help financially etc but work is definitely not as fullfilling as I thought it would be. Most days are boring exempt for the odd ones now and then when something exciting happens.

I thought I'd travel a lot for work which is not the case as many media houses nowadays opt to just hire a freelancer when they need to cover a story in another country as this saves them money. For other things like a sports game, they will just tell you to watch it on TV.
 

Rudolph Hart

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Jun 21, 2020
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I don’t know that I had really concrete thoughts on how it would go, but even so, I’d have to say no.
 

Smuggy

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Jun 27, 2020
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Location
Port Elizabeth
Let's see... Did an apprenticeship in a totally different career than what I studied for, got retrenched, got another job, landed up in hospital, got divorced, got relocated, got retrenched again, found another job, landed in hospital again, just to name a few....

NO....
 

OCP

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May 4, 2020
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Cape Town
Fuck no

At this stage I've resigned myself just to hang on and hope for the best while checking corners ;-)
 

biometrics

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My teenage hobby became my job. So sort of.

Started five companies in 32 years but none have been as successful as I wanted it to be. The current one isn't doing too badly, so can't complain. So again, sort of.
 

Johnatan56

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Not sure, never really had a goal beyond just having an interesting job that pays well enough, guess I already succeeded by the time I was 22.

I studied further already than I ever planned, I already earn what I set up as my goal when I joined the industry for what I must hit by 35, the goal of what direction I want to do work on for a topic that super interested me last year I somehow got a job offer for exactly that a month ago, so here I am doing what I planned.

Career wise, my plans are just enjoy where I am for now, end of year I'll set my next medium term goal in terms of 3 and 5 years, where do I see myself, but I am at the point that no matter what I chose, I'll be financially stable, making sure to have financial buffers.

Relationship wise is another goal, but that's not the same, and that's probably going to be the thing that would throw a spanner in terms of plans of location in 5 years, but it's a case of see what happens. That's part of life goals to me.

There are loads in their 20/30s that have no clue what they're doing, and you need to realize it's not normal to have life in order, this isn't the 20th century anymore, you don't really have lifetime jobs, especially at one company. My one sibling approaching 30 is also in the boat of no clue what to do in life, has a job that doesn't allow him to really live alone in CT unless he had a partner, and based on friend circle he's not really an odd one out, even looking at some uni colleagues that didn't become software devs (software dev is just a huge demand in the current environment and difficult enough that more complex stuff most can't do).

Basically what I'm trying to say is stop with these comparison things, this forum most of us are either older /50+, or in fields with easier opportunities, doesn't mean that you're somehow falling behind, there's no finish line, there's just your current circumstances, and how you plan to deal with it. Set a smart goal, and aim in that direction, influencing what it is that you can influence, and then swapping to the other things that you can do something about.

Don't plan 10/20 years in advance, I can't remember what I did last week, how do you expect to know what happens that far in advance? That's why pick a manageable, realistic time frame, e.g. Get hired by a studio of xyz size, then see what people hired there did to get there, is the norm that it takes 3 years to get to that stage or 5 or 10, and if longer, what were the pre stages that I should aim for instead and are those still realistic in modern climate, do the same opportunities still exist.
 

SauRoN

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Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
486
Well I’m not going to have a Lamborghini by 45 as I had planned, at least not without sacrificing/compromising a lot of other things, but I do think I’ll have my “forever home” bought and paid for and then it will be pretty smooth sailing from there.

Early “retirement” / financial independence was always my primary goal and I’m hoping to achieve that, but will only really scope out how that looks when I hit said 45 in 5 or so years.

Other than that my life has gone in unexpected but very good ways, like getting married and having two kids, something I never envisioned myself doing at 20 or even 25, but couldn’t be happier for it. Made my other goals trickier but not impossible and now there’s more gratification from sharing it anyway.

I did loads of bucket list things early in my life so I don’t feel I have those boxes still to tick off and hence midlife crises and such should fly right past me.

Enjoy my life, enjoy my work, living quite comfortably without really wanting for anything so I would say I am where I need to be.

Oddly my career was always just a means to an end making money and putting away as much of it as I possibly could so I don’t need to worry about it later, yet now I find myself being more fulfilled by my work and might actually hang around a bit longer before packing it all in.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 

EADC

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Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
1,372
While getting to where you are now, when did you begin to feel that you had grown up?

I still don't feel grown up even in my late 30's.

I really taken the quote " Getting old is mandatory, growing up is optional" to heart.
 

dabean

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Joined
Jul 17, 2020
Messages
582
I don't think anything has ever gone as I thought it would. I try to remind myself of that when some future event makes me anxious.

Things usually turn out better than expected (in my experience anyway).
 

Nicholas

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Jun 23, 2020
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Location
East London
I have been coping by dialling down my expectations of myself. My mother and teachers would regularly tell me that I was hurting myself by setting unrealistically high standards for myself. Older me agrees with this assessment.
 
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Y2K

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May 3, 2020
Messages
1,169
Location
Earth C137
Not sure, never really had a goal beyond just having an interesting job that pays well enough, guess I already succeeded by the time I was 22.

I studied further already than I ever planned, I already earn what I set up as my goal when I joined the industry for what I must hit by 35, the goal of what direction I want to do work on for a topic that super interested me last year I somehow got a job offer for exactly that a month ago, so here I am doing what I planned.

Career wise, my plans are just enjoy where I am for now, end of year I'll set my next medium term goal in terms of 3 and 5 years, where do I see myself, but I am at the point that no matter what I chose, I'll be financially stable, making sure to have financial buffers.

Relationship wise is another goal, but that's not the same, and that's probably going to be the thing that would throw a spanner in terms of plans of location in 5 years, but it's a case of see what happens. That's part of life goals to me.

There are loads in their 20/30s that have no clue what they're doing, and you need to realize it's not normal to have life in order, this isn't the 20th century anymore, you don't really have lifetime jobs, especially at one company. My one sibling approaching 30 is also in the boat of no clue what to do in life, has a job that doesn't allow him to really live alone in CT unless he had a partner, and based on friend circle he's not really an odd one out, even looking at some uni colleagues that didn't become software devs (software dev is just a huge demand in the current environment and difficult enough that more complex stuff most can't do).

Basically what I'm trying to say is stop with these comparison things, this forum most of us are either older /50+, or in fields with easier opportunities, doesn't mean that you're somehow falling behind, there's no finish line, there's just your current circumstances, and how you plan to deal with it. Set a smart goal, and aim in that direction, influencing what it is that you can influence, and then swapping to the other things that you can do something about.

Don't plan 10/20 years in advance, I can't remember what I did last week, how do you expect to know what happens that far in advance? That's why pick a manageable, realistic time frame, e.g. Get hired by a studio of xyz size, then see what people hired there did to get there, is the norm that it takes 3 years to get to that stage or 5 or 10, and if longer, what were the pre stages that I should aim for instead and are those still realistic in modern climate, do the same opportunities still exist.
As someone who's doing their internship in July then graduating as a software developer the end of the year this is an eye opener.

My passion isn't software development but I caught on shit and had to continue with it, repeat year one or drop out. I've had student debt that amounted to a little over R120k and just received a bursary that paid it in full. (I really cannot express how happy I am at the moment, as I was handed over to debt collectors like 3 years back. Ruthless vultures, they actually called me the same day the money landed in my Universities bank account saying that I still owe like R37k in fees that I accrued with them.)

I don't know what life has in store for me, but next year I'm moving out of my parents place and into my own flat/apartment/shack, I plan on completing a CCNA and then trying to land a gig in network engineering or perhaps even
infoSec/CyberSecurity?

I'm 26 btw, I learned to stop comparing myself to others and focus on my own goals, take it day by day and enjoy the little things.

I asked myself the question, what do I want out of life? Cars, money, a house overseas perhaps?

I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, we all have problems, we all face our own obstacles that is what makes us who we are, all I can do is tag along for the ride and see where it takes me.

I asked myself the question time and time again, why am I alone? Why do people leave me? Is this how its supposed to be or does my personality just clash with everybody else's?

Someone said something to me once, I know they aren't the original author but the meaning behind it stuck with me to this day.

Frank Sonnenberg: “Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.”
 

Blantyre

Active Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
390
As someone who's doing their internship in July then graduating as a software developer the end of the year this is an eye opener.

My passion isn't software development but I caught on shit and had to continue with it, repeat year one or drop out. I've had student debt that amounted to a little over R120k and just received a bursary that paid it in full. (I really cannot express how happy I am at the moment, as I was handed over to debt collectors like 3 years back. Ruthless vultures, they actually called me the same day the money landed in my Universities bank account saying that I still owe like R37k in fees that I accrued with them.)

I don't know what life has in store for me, but next year I'm moving out of my parents place and into my own flat/apartment/shack, I plan on completing a CCNA and then trying to land a gig in network engineering or perhaps even
infoSec/CyberSecurity?

I'm 26 btw, I learned to stop comparing myself to others and focus on my own goals, take it day by day and enjoy the little things.

I asked myself the question, what do I want out of life? Cars, money, a house overseas perhaps?

I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, we all have problems, we all face our own obstacles that is what makes us who we are, all I can do is tag along for the ride and see where it takes me.

I asked myself the question time and time again, why am I alone? Why do people leave me? Is this how its supposed to be or does my personality just clash with everybody else's?

Someone said something to me once, I know they aren't the original author but the meaning behind it stuck with me to this day.

Frank Sonnenberg: “Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.”

Interesting. I have not really came across many in my age bracked on these forums. Either older or much younger. I'm also 26, turning 27 later this year.
 

SauRoN

Active Member
Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
486
While getting to where you are now, when did you begin to feel that you had grown up?

Apparently I have the opposite problem and never had a childhood according to my family and friends who all reckon I was old before my time.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 

EADC

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
1,372
There is always a generational gap about how people perceive the world.

Many of us have had more experiences growing up in a South Africa more open to world vs closed and our perceptions are different.

Anyway fuck the boomers you got to just live life.

What they deemed important is not today.
 

Blantyre

Active Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
390
Not sure how others feel but personally I gave up on making life plans years ago. We change all the time and are different people to what we were a year ago. I've learnt that simply some things will work out better than expected and others worse so we should just try to better ourselves in the present.
 
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